Ninety Miles is Only Half of a Hundred-Mile Journey
On the day I decided to take a gap, I bought my first pack of cigarettes and six bottles of beer, halted everything I was working on, boarded the bus home, and prepared to spend an evening with myself.
For me that day, the uncertain future felt distant.
The Hundred-Mile Traveler
To put it bluntly, this was a long-term buildup that seemed unacceptable because of my sudden realization. Thinking of this, I felt the brevity of my life and envied the endless flow of the Yangtze River. In the end, I calmly swallowed it down along with the beef and beer, leaving only the bottommost line of the six lines of the Qian hexagram I had seen many years ago in my mind: First Nine: Hidden dragon, do not act.
Looking back on my four years of confusion, I couldn’t see my own path. Starting over from scratch was almost routine, yet I still, in an almost cruel way, gave reasons for the path I had vaguely chosen long ago. Miraculously, I never strayed off course.
If I were to summarize, first I must explain a principle.
A Syllogism
People never feel anxious about what they lack and are unaware of. Fortunately, once knowledge is known, it can be said to be possessed. Therefore, to some extent, we are all satisfied with our current level of intelligence.
But we generally still progress. The beautiful expectations for future life drive a person to exert every effort to overcome the challenges in real life, sometimes even willingly seeking out trouble. Usually, we call this process exploration. Thus, our spiritual level gradually rises through hardship, and we never wish to return to the past.
Therefore, whether I reach the end or not, I am grateful for the ninety miles I have already walked.
As for a final judgment, it is impossible. The coffin is not yet closed; I still have many more hundred-mile journeys to walk. So, let the detailed stories remain in the diary.
For the remaining ten miles of this journey, I hope to summarize it with the second line of the Qian hexagram: Second Nine: Dragon appearing in the field. It is beneficial to see the great man.
Half of Ninety
In short, that night I talked with my Master, who has always encouraged me, for the entire evening. In the end, I calmly became convinced that I had chosen the path most suitable for myself. The next day, I spent a quiet and pleasant afternoon with my father, who had returned to Xi’an for a meeting. I was pleasantly surprised to find myself enjoying time with my parents more and more.
Moving forward, I hope to continue exploring and never lose my curiosity.