2023-04-20

Just a moment ago (it was actually last night—I posted a graduation photo with Senior Jiang, but the review didn’t pass🌚), I saw a freshman on Gcores Talks venting. I wanted to comfort them, but then I thought about it and realized there wasn’t much I could say.

That thought reminded me of some snippets from my own college life. What stands out most is leaving Xi’an in the second half of my senior year to intern in Beijing.

Entering the workplace for the first time, many of my dreams fell short, and I started feeling a constant loneliness, with occasional doubts about life. Back then, young as I was, I didn’t realize you could rent just a single room. I spent half a year in a tiny room in Shangdi. It was also in that same place that I saw cockroaches for the first time. I tried going on random-direction walks on weekends. On Valentine’s Day, I bought myself a rose, and the second half-price cone from McDonald’s I gave to the girl at the McDonald’s dessert counter—all my dear classmates were still at school, and I dreamed of going back there.

Taking advantage of the Qingming holiday, I bought a train ticket back to Xi’an well in advance. My heart swayed gently with the sleeper car. Carrying a rather heavy backpack, I entered through the southeast gate of the campus, took the stairs three steps at a time up to the Zhongying courtyard, crossed the courtyard, stepped into the dormitory building, and finally arrived at the door of 0235.

I opened the door, and it was as if a white light filled my eyes, as if the door connected the future and the past—I was back in a beautiful dream. Chen Shen was still hunched over his seat playing games, Brother Gou was sitting on Lu Di’s bed, Lu Di was nowhere to be seen, and Zhu Xi leaned out from his spot and said, “You’re back.” I almost cried.

Now, 0235 has already sent off another group of naive youngsters after we left. Campus life was full of small, sweet troubles, just like what the young Gcores Talks friend complained about. I deeply cherish my college days, and I remember how the school asked us to “shine for the world.”

Maybe my own troubles seem like small, sweet troubles to others too. That’s kind of amusing.

(The picture is of 0235)

• 🧩 A Fragment of Life