2023-10-31
2-Day Weekend Trip to Hangzhou (A Week Late Edition)
Recently, I’ve been unusually anxious, to the point where a panic attack struck one day and I couldn’t do anything. Fortunately, I had lxyl to cry with, and I went to Hangzhou over the weekend to clear my mind.
Originally, I wanted to go camping, but felt we weren’t up for it, so we changed it to trekking through the city.
I brought my PS (turns out I didn’t have time to play it) and stayed at playgroud’s warm childhood home.
He loves sending and receiving postcards and has a collection of dozens of postcards sent to him. Each one is a tiny time capsule, thus bending time into an intricate, partially ordered network with functor properties between people. I bet he also keeps a diary, because a diary is the ultimate version of such time capsules—the difference being that it’s entirely self-written, and for the most part, self-read. I think it can be simply characterized as an endofunctor acting on time.
I also keep a diary. Over the past thirteen years, I’ve written one and a half volumes. The number of diary entries follows a logarithmic curve over time. This is probably because when I was a child, I thought my diary would be dug up and published someday, so I wrote frequently. As I grew older, I gradually lost that idea, so I wrote less.
Back to the topic: Although it was a very short trip, it gave me a long-missed feeling of traveling. I always feel that I’m missing something, so I need to go on a journey to find it, but I don’t even know what I’m ultimately looking for. I only know that I might find it on the journey—maybe in a chat with a distant friend, or in a familiar or unfamiliar scent, or in the sight of a stranger dozing off on a bus or plane, or in the weather, or in something I haven’t thought of.
Therefore, for me, traveling is not about checking off tourist spots, but possibly revisiting old places.
During this trip, I clearly felt myself pulled out of my anxiety. My heart was peaceful, I had a great rest, and I was super happy.
I even climbed a mountain! Walked around West Lake! Played board games! And saw a fox!
Perhaps the most important thing was staying at playgroud’s warm home.
Regarding My Destroyed Taliesin and the Warm Sanctuary
Half a year ago, I lost my bedroom, along with that person. After she moved out, on the last day before I moved, I said a proper goodbye to her, then went back and cried my eyes out. The brilliant and wonderful ideals we had built over tens of thousands of kilometers across several years all turned into water, merging into the rivers and lakes, to be forgotten there. Temporarily numbing that grief with alcohol, I joined the usual chat room where people idle. playgroud was listening to “Metro 2033”, and I started listening along too. While listening and packing up my last moving boxes, I said, “Can I stay at your warm home tonight, playgroud?” After I went, I even helped him get a double gold in Genshin Impact.
The next day, I calmly took the living room and study with me and left our former home, clumsily starting a new journey. Since then, I’ve been frequently posting on Gcores.
In a sense, Gcores has become my sanctuary, just like playgroud’s warm home, giving me ardent vitality to keep going and seek the unknown on my journey.
The pictures are:
The story of Taliesin
Happy me
The mantis stalks the cicada, unaware of the oriole behind
Sights and feelings from a certain trip
🧳 Going Out